Learning how to handle resentment isn’t easy, but it is possible. Watching someone you care about destroy their life with drugs or alcohol is difficult. Depending on your relationship, their actions may directly impact your life, causing emotional, physical, and financial hardships.

Even if you understand the disease of addiction, it’s natural to feel anger and resentment toward a person with substance use disorder, or you may feel angry at yourself for continuing an unhealthy relationship.

Sometimes the best way to help a loved one in trouble is by helping yourself first. If you are too filled with negative feelings to approach your loved one using positive communication, it may be better to take a step back. 

5 Steps to Manage Anger and Handle Resentment

The first thing to remember is that your feelings are normal. Anger is a natural response if someone you love is lying, deceiving, or betraying you. Consider the following steps once you acknowledge that your emotional reactions are valid for the situation.

1. Recognize That Negative Feelings Hurt You More Than Them

Holding onto anger punishes the angry person, not the person who is causing the anger. The time and energy you spend on resenting someone is time you have allowed them to occupy space in your head “rent-free.”

Holding onto negative feelings hurts you in the long run. This doesn’t mean you must immediately forgive or overlook unacceptable behavior. It simply means that letting go of anger is the best option for your own well-being.

2. Find Compassion

Replacing resentment with compassion is easier than it may first seem. Start by remembering that the addicted person is suffering more than anyone else. Their life is out of control. They feel guilty and likely have low self-esteem. They are often physically ill and may also suffer from depression or anxiety and addiction.

Their life is out of control, but yours doesn’t have to be. Instead of expressing anger, you could help them find a Costa Mesa treatment center where they’ll get the treatment they need.

3. Set Boundaries

Having compassion and relying on positive communication doesn’t mean becoming a doormat. Once you have regained your emotional balance, it may be easier to establish the healthy boundaries that are necessary when you love a person with a substance use disorder.

Remember that you’re easier to manipulate when you’re filled with anger and resentment. Coming from a place of compassion puts you in a better position to enforce boundaries.

4. Make a Commitment to Forgive

It doesn’t have to happen today or next month, but you will need to forgive the past to embrace the future at some point. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it doesn’t mean you automatically let go of negative emotions.

You can forgive your loved ones even if they don’t seek treatment. Forgiveness is a choice to stop dwelling on past mistakes. You may not be ready to forgive right now, but making the commitment to forgive will help you on the journey of releasing anger and resentment.

5. Get Help

Don’t go it alone. Reach out to a Costa Mesa treatment specialist or a mental health professional for support. Many people are going through the same situation. Peers can give and receive support without judgment or just listen when you need a compassionate ear. Find strength in a support group or by seeing a therapist who understands the dynamics of addiction and recovery.

Call Clear Life Recovery for Costa Mesa Treatment for Addiction

Don’t let feelings of anger take over your life. It’s time to handle resentment and help support your loved one. If someone you love is suffering from addiction, there are already enough challenges to deal with. Your emotional health doesn’t need to be one of them. Find the help you need at a Costa Mesa treatment center.

At Clear Life Recovery, we offer family and individual counseling. Contact us today to learn more about our programs. We’re here for you.