Loving an Addict Without Enabling
When you love someone with an addiction, you want to give them all of the support you can. But, in the process, you may be doing things that are actually enabling their addiction rather than helping them. It can sometimes be difficult to know where to draw the line. But, if you truly want to help, loving an addict means finding ways to support them without enabling.
We’re going to look at how you may be acting as an enabler as well as useful ways you can offer love and support.
Are You an Enabler?
Enablers are those who do things for addicts that they would have been able to do themselves if they were sober. When you enable someone, you’re protecting them from the consequences of their addiction. [1] In this way, they’ll never feel the effects of their actions, so they won’t feel like they have a problem or need help.
Here are several ways to tell that you may be an enabler:
- You make excuses for them.
- You take over their responsibilities.
- You save them from the legal consequences of their addiction.
Enablers come from a good place of wanting to help. But, instead of empowering the individual, they make it easier for them to continue their addiction. When you enable someone, you may also turn a blind eye to their problem. [2] You know there is a problem, but you hope you can fix it by doing everything for them. In the end, you’re only hurting them and exhausting yourself in the process.
Loving an Addict by Showing Support
If you want to show support instead of enabling, you can begin by setting boundaries. This can be hard when you’re used to just doing everything for the person you love.
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You can still offer to help, but you can draw the line with paying bills or taking over their responsibilities. When you start doing this, they will eventually see the consequences of their addiction because there is no longer a safety net. It’s important that whatever help you’re offering is not making it easier for them to continue their addiction.
It can be hard to stick by the boundaries you’ve set. You’ll likely be tempted to fall back into your old ways. But it’s important to stand firm. In the beginning, the person with the addiction may not see this as helping. However, as they get treatment for their addiction, they will look back and realize that you were helping all along.
Another crucial step is to bring attention to the problem. This can be the most difficult because many people don’t realize that they have a problem. By having an honest conversation, you can try to get them to see how their addiction is taking over their lives. This often requires professional help. When you reach this point, you can help them get the treatment they need to begin living a sober life.
Once you can get them the help they need, it’s important to stand by them through the treatment process. This can mean making sure they go to meetings or attend meetings or therapy sessions with them. [3]
People battling addiction need to feel like they are not alone. They need to feel that they have at least one person in their corner. While therapists can do this, it’s often more helpful if the support is from someone that personally knows them.
Professional Help is Only a Call Away
At Clear Life Recovery, we help people battle their addictions with a personalized treatment plan. We know that each person’s addiction is different. That’s why we offer customized plans. With the choices of both inpatient and outpatient programs, everyone can find one that best suits their lifestyle.
We also encourage loved ones to take part in the rehab process. We understand that loving an addict can be difficult. This is why we offer ways to involve them in the program. If you want to help someone you love get the support they need to battle their addiction, call Clear Life Recovery today or contact us online.
Sources:
[1] How to Stop Enabling an Alcoholic or Addict (verywellmind.com), https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-stop-enabling-an-alcoholic-63083
[2] Enabler: Definition, Behavior, Psychology, Recognizing One, More (healthline.com), https://www.healthline.com/health/enabler#signs
[3] The Most Important Things You Can Do To Help an Alcoholic (healthline.com), https://www.healthline.com/health/most-important-things-you-can-do-help-alcoholic#takeaway
