We covered the first two goals of a successful intervention for substance abuse in part one of this series. In this second part, we will be discussing the next three goals. Our intention is that this guide will help you understand the ins and outs of each step necessary for a successful intervention. We aim to help you create a healthy and supportive environment for your loved one, without falling into behaviors that could perpetuate addiction or harm the family.
Goal 3: Setting Healthy Boundaries Within the Family to Minimize Negative Impact
When someone has a substance use disorder (SUD), their family members are often subject to many negative consequences that spill over from the addicted person’s life. Late rent or other bills may pile up on the desks of cosigners and caring parents who just want to help. Unsavory or frightening individuals may show up at the doorstep at all hours, making the rest of the family feel unsafe. The family may feel like they must lie or cover up for their loved one to avoid facing legal consequences for their drug use. These and other similar scenarios are all too common.
In addition to all of these external factors, most people with a SUD are not pleasant to be around. The family may feel the need to “babysit” the person until the latest dose has worn off, to guard against overdose or intoxicated driving. They are also often the targets of lies, anger, and manipulation. Having a loved one with a SUD can feel like a tornado has swept through your family and left destruction and broken relationships in its wake.
Instead of accepting the adverse financial, emotional, and often physical effects, families need to define and then learn to enforce healthy boundaries. It is unacceptable to continue shouldering the responsibility for cleaning up messes and making sure nothing bad happens. Not only does that enable the addiction to continue, as discussed in part one, but it also heaps stress, fear, and potentially life-affecting consequences on innocent family members who have nothing to do with the addiction.
Examples of Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries may be uncomfortable at first. You may need to do things like evicting an addicted loved one, so you no longer have to come home from work every day to clean up their drug paraphernalia before anyone else sees it. You may need to retrieve a car you lent to your loved one, shut off a cell phone that routinely receives calls from dealers, or change bills to no longer be in your name to avoid the fallout from intoxicated driving incidents, drug deals, and late fees.
Take these boundaries as far as you need to minimize negative consequences in your own and your family members’ lives.
Goal 4: Creating a Solid Family Team Where All Individuals Work Together
If the family isn’t on the same page and working together, the intervention will be even harder. For example, let’s say one person is holding a firm boundary by withholding financial support from the individual. However, if another family member is secretly stepping in to pay the person’s bills, the intervention gets undermined.
Even if the whole family agrees on the goal, problems can still arise by failing to work together. If everyone takes matters into their own hands rather than collaboratively, each will feel they are doing all of the work and end up at odds with other family members who should be their closest allies.
Forming a cohesive team with cooperation is imperative to the family’s health. Success is much more likely when every family member supports the others and encourages everyone else to stay strong when it’s tempting to give in and allow boundaries to be crossed. This is true not only for the family but also for the person struggling with addiction. Deep down, they will understand the power of a united family front, even if it appears to make no difference on the surface.
Goal 5: Changing the Family Dynamics to More Effectively Handle the Addiction
Once your family is a solid team, each member can take the lead on one or two tasks. One person may volunteer to drive the individual with a SUD to meetings. Another family member could provide a strong, supportive audience when the individual needs to talk about their problems.
These tasks don’t have to be assigned individually, but it can help to have a clear-cut division of roles. That way, everyone understands their role in the recovery. Everyone will feel they are making a positive, helpful contribution rather than their previous enabling behavior.
Planning an Intervention for Substance Abuse? Help is Here.
As you might imagine, intervention for substance abuse doesn’t always go smoothly. It’s hard to make your loved ones feel supported and heard while taking a firm stance on their substance abuse.
You’ll want to maximize your chances of success by having a solid strategy in place before staging an intervention. If you feel your family could benefit from professional help, contact Clear Life Recovery.
